Definitions

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Architect

Defines someone who was neither macho enough to become an engineer nor gay enough to become a designer.

Banker

Someone who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and takes it back when it starts to rain.

Boy Scout

A child dressed like an asshole under the leadership of an asshole dressed like a child.

Consultant

Someone who uses your wife’s watch, tells you the time, and then charges you for it.

Diplomat

Someone who tells you to go to hell in a way which makes you eager to start the journey.

Economist

An expert who will know tomorrow why that which he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.

Friend

Definition of a person of the opposite sex who has that "Je ne sais quoi" which eliminates any desire to ever try and sleep with them.

Pessimist

Optimist with experience

Programmer

Someone who fixes a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.

Psychologist

Someone who looks at everyone else when an attractive woman enters the room.

Statistician

Someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an engineer.

Dancing

The vertical frustration of a horizontal desire.

Headache

Method of contraception most widely used by women.

Intellectual

Someone capable of thinking for more than 2 hours about something other than sex.

Monogamy

Repressed polygamy.

Nymphomaniac

Term applied by men to any woman who wants sex more than he does.

Teamwork

The possibility of putting the blame on others.

Interview

That which can be seen between the interviewee’s legs.

Easy

Term applied to any woman with the sexual morals of a man.

Hardware

The part of the computer which you kick when the software malfunctions.

Impatience

Waiting in a hurry.

Indifference

Attitude adopted by a woman towards a man in whom she has no interest; interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get".
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